One thing I’ve found about telling people I have MS is that they seem to take it far worse than I did…. you would honestly think I had just told them i’m going to die in the next 24 hours. The shock, then the sympathetic looks is usually followed by questions I can’t really answer myself yet!
Now I know people are being kind and sympathetic and maybe reacting to the news in the only way they know how. It can come as a shock to some as I honestly have very few symptoms, but I’m not ordering a wheelchair anytime soon and I can’t really bring myself to say I’m ill as I’m not so this reaction is quite uncomfortable.
I also feel awkward when people say things like ‘you have such a positive attitude’ or ‘your being so brave’ this is actually not the case at all and I really feel like a bit of a fraud. People who are ill are in hospital beds, or on chemo, or in great pain everyday. I’m not. I’m just me with a clumsy hand, this seems very feeble in comparison to people who are really ill and struggle everyday.
I’ve decided to make my MS, just mine again. Family and close friends know about it and they are aware I’ve started my treatment, but I don’t think there is much else to say about it now, the ‘shock’ is over and the rush to start the treatment had begun. I don’t want to have to recount everything when ever I see people or give constant updates on my health, so for now I’m letting the novelty wear off and just getting on with my life as normal.
So today I seen one of my favourite people, my auntie. She has had so many health problems, MS, diabetes, blood pressure issues and has battled breast cancer to name a few. She never complains, always laughs and is the last person to sit and dwell on how hard life is! She just gets on with it and is so grateful for what she does have. We had a great laugh and catch up and it was lovely to see someone who knew what I was dealing with and knew I wasn’t there for tea and sympathy.
I have MS – this isn’t who I am – this changes nothing about my personality – i have an amazing family and a very good life – this is something new that I will incorporate into my life and work around it when I need to – because really, what else would I do??
So tonight me and my husband took the kids to the beach for chips (and a sneaky ice cream on the way home) and we enjoyed a walk along the promenade in the tea time sun, it was a beautiful afternoon. I love these times together with the 4 of us as a family, even if my daughter was having a strop on the way back.
This is who I am – a mam, a wife and a chip lover 🙂