Is knowledge power? Or does no one know what’s going on?

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Me and my husband have been attending a ‘living with MS’ educational session organised by my MS nurse. It’s spread over 3 weeks and we have done 2 classes so far. It’s interesting to know the science behind MS and it has helped us understand a little more about what happens to your body and how to explain  MS to others.

It was described as your immune system attacking your nerve coatings in your central nervous system,  which is probably the easiest way I’ve found to explain MS to people yet. It was also interesting to see the map of the world with where most cases of MS are, I had no idea Scotland had the most cases of it. Living in the North East of England we are pretty close to them.

What I’d have loved to learn more about was the nutritional side of things, especially vitamins and good foods. It was a shame that this part was skipped over a bit as the person who was coming to speak to us couldn’t make it. I find the Internet full of wacky ideas for MS ‘diets’ which are all looking awful to be honest,  I’d have liked to explored this side a bit further.

Next week is our last session and it’s a question answer one with a visit from one of the MS charities who is bringing some information for us to look at. I was expecting something a bit better from this but I suppose it’s better than nothing.

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I’m still finding myself overwhelmed and although knowledge is power and I understand some aspects of MS a bit more, i’m still struggling to find a place where I fit in or any information that is relevant for me. Maybe it’s just one of those things that takes time to click into place? maybe I’m looking for something to explain everything to me, and maybe that’s what everyone else with MS is doing too.

Still a bit lost but plodding on as normal – waiting for something to click into place.

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Coffee & Cake

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My cousin hosted a coffee morning for Macmillan yesterday. I decided to make rocky road bites with all the birthday chocolate we had accumulated last week from my daughters birthday, they were delicious and no good for my diet at all! The cakes people bought & made were lovely, and it was really nice to see the effort people put in for this charity.

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My cousin has cancer and has dedicated so much of his time and energy to supporting so many charities
He is doing things from this to running the GNR, sky dives, zip wire challenges and so much more, he is quite an inspiration and never complains

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Lots of family amd friends came too and it was lovely to have a catch up and to see how everyone is doing. A really nice morning and hopefully lots of funds raised for a great cause.

Proud to support Macmillan.

10 things that makes me happy :)

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I wanted to write 10 things that make me happy, not people, as everyone has amazing people who make them so happy in life, and yes I have mine too. I wanted to write a few little things that make me happy, brighten my day and make me smile.

#1 A hot cup of tea, in a big fat mug when you can actually sit down for 5 minutes. ๐Ÿต

#2 Flowers – instantly brighten my day, in the park or a bunch given to me, I love seeing them. ๐ŸŒป๐ŸŒผ

#3 Pajamas – as soon as I get home and im in for the night I have my pj’s on. Heaven ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐ŸŒ™๐ŸŒ›

#4 Getting my hair done – (this does not happen often enough) I love it when it’s just been cut and styled and you walk out of the hairdressers feeling amazing.

#5 Movie days – i love it when the weather is cold and me and the kids stay in and watch movies in our onesis with popcorn.

#6 Pizza ๐Ÿ™‚ chilled out Saturday night, no cooking or dishes to do, hot pizza to tuck into! ๐Ÿ•

#7 Reading a good book – i love it when you read a book that you CAN’T put down, I love being engrossed in it and unable to wait to see what happens. ๐Ÿ“–

#8 Sunny days driving with the windows down in the car and some good music on – everything us better with sunshine added! ๐ŸŒž๐ŸŽถ

#9 A hot shower when you feel like you have scrubbed several layers of skin off and your all fresh and clean – even better with clean pj’s and clean bedding too. โคต

#10 My bed! it is the best place in the world to be, it’s so comfy and I look forward to getting into it each night!

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Of course there is people who make me happy and these are so important and irreplaceable to me.

My family, from my amazing husband,ย  my gorgeous and clever children to my life saver of a mam. I wouldn’t function without these people and im so happy to have them in my life. ๐Ÿ’Ÿ

My friends for similar reasons, my best friend who has seen me at my best and worst, and still has the kettle on at a moments notice! The friend’s I can talk to about anything,ย  who make me laugh,ย  who spur me on don’t judge me. I’m happy and grateful they tolerate me!

The big and little things make us happy so try to appreciate them all.

My body for not giving up on me yet!

What a week!

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Well Monday was my first day back to work after 14 months of maternity leave. It was so nice to be back and it was nice to be ‘me’ again for a few hours, I work in a small busy office with some lovely people and I’d forgotten how nice it can be to be working and not just a ‘mam’ at home and school.

Definite highlights of returning to work are drinking a cup of tea while it is hot,  going to the bathroom alone, chatting about things other than Dora the Explorer, being allowed to think my own thoughts for a bit without interruptions was lovely too, I had forgotten what it was like when my head wasn’t racing at 100 mph with the stress of home, work is just as busy but it’s a different kind and I feel more productive.

Not so good things were, my arm and wrist ached really bad from all the writing, typing and paperwork, I’ve had to take a lot.of pain killers to get me through this week, i’m hoping it’s just because I’m not used to it. The hour at the beginning and end of my work day which is spent dropping off and collecting the kids is ridiculous, I have to go miles out my was to drop the youngest off first, then come practically home to take the eldest to school and then head back the way I came to get to work. Finally I was surprised how exhausted I was by lunchtime on Wednesday,  I was actually watching the clock and could feel myself going slower and was ready to sleep. It’s a good job i’m part time and only work Monday – Wednesday or I’d have been in trouble.

Since I’m only at work the first half of the week I get to spend Thursday and Friday at home. My daughter has just started reception class so for the first time since he was born me and my little man get two whole days together. My daughter is loving ‘big school’ and is  thrilled to be staying for her lunch, she has a lot of friends and has settled in amazing, although she is exhausted by the end of the day. My little man didn’t really get a lot out of our two days together this week tho, he is full of cold so we mostly spend them in the house. Think I might try to find a play group on a Friday to take him to next week, there is a sure start centre close to us which has a sensory room he would love too. Feel a bit bad we don’t do a lot of these things, but over the 6 weeks we had to do things that were suitable for both kids ages, he will like some things just for him.

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It was also my wedding anniversary this week, me and my husband have been married for 2 years and I got the most beautiful card and flowers from him, they were gorgeous. We have been together for 12 years and got married after 10, he is my best friend and has been amazing this last year too ๐Ÿ™‚

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Ok enough slushy stuff…… My next stress has began already! 

My a daughter is 5 next week and we have organised a disco for her, this was what she requested and honestly it has been a nightmare and cost a small fortune! The venue we had suddenly closed and when the brewery went in the person had taken the deposit and book showing we had paid for a party! After a lot of stress and phone calls we have a room and our deposit has been honoured. I just need to pay the remaining balance for the cake, confirm times with the princess who is making and appearance,  go in and decorate  the room and fill the party bags! Then at some point pay the dj, princess and venue for the food!

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NEVER AGAIN!

I’ve just gone back to work so money is tight as it is and I’ve had to pay the nursery ยฃ360 last week for my little man to attend 2 days a week.  We are officially skint now, oh dear, well I’m sure the kids will love it.

Went for a run last night,  didn’t do as good as I wanted and we walked half the way back. Think I was just so tired after this week,  they had just finished clearing up after the GNR and there was a few runners out, noticed how dark it is getting now on a night,  it was very blustery too – definitely autumn setting in. Might try to go again on Sunday night, will see how I feel.

Going to have some family time this weekend and then do it all again next week!

Life waits for no one

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Had the best conversation today, me and my husband were discussing mortgages, bills and boring things like that, then during this conversation we ended up making a decision to just carry on as normal. This got me thinking,  I have had such a strange year, my health being only one of the crazy things that gas gone on, and yet we carry on as normal.

I’m going back to work tomorrow after a long 14 months of maternity/holiday leave, I took the full entitlement to enable me to be a ‘stay at home mam’ for a year. My life has been all over the place this year tho, and to be honest it still is a bit, but tomorrow is a big day for us all. My daughter goes to reception class full days tomorrow(she is beyond excited to stay for school dinners),  my not so baby boy is starting nursery class for 2 days while I’m working. And yes i go back to the day job. I’ve now found myself in the familiar Sunday night routine.

โ€ขSchool back packed, uniform ready. โ€ขNursery back packed, forms filled in and clothes laid out.
โ€ขWork clothes hanging up and lunch all sorted.
โ€ขBreakfast set up ready for in the morning,  alarms all set and yes everyone has been bathed!

Back to normal.

That’s what works best,  back to what is familiar,  what needs to be done and what we do as part of our normal lives. Because life waits for no one and if I don’t get back to normal I fear I may not be living it at all.

2nd treatment & 2nd wedding anniversary

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I’ll be honest it’s not as nice as last month. The needle and infusion are totally fine but my chair is broken and uncomfortable,ย  it is stuck upright and doesn’t recline (1st world problems) and im sat in a draft too! I’m sure I’ll get over it though ๐Ÿ™‚

Ok whine over then – the staff are lovely, it’s a great atmosphere and nothing is too much trouble. I’m on my second cup of tea and lunch will be hear shortly. I can’t really complain!

I was prepared this time with my book, snacks and drinks all ready to keep me going. I even had time to go shopping for new work shoes before my appointment without children, This is classed as a luxury indeed.ย  This has turned into a lovely me day when I have my treatment, turn a negative into a positive I say ๐Ÿ™‚

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Really looking forward to tonight too as me and my husband are going to see Ant & Dec on the takeaway tour in Newcastle, it’s our second wedding anniversary next week so having a night out together tonight – can’t wait ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s lovely to get some time just the two of us and go out together. My mam is going to babysit for us so kids will be all sorted.

Ok i’m going to read my book and wait for lunch, all good! Apart from a numb bum

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Is sharing caring? Or not worth the hassle?

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I’m never sure if I should share my diagnosis with people, I have obviously told family and close friends. Work now know as I’m going back from maternity leave soon, but how much do people share? And is it worth it?

I’m just wondering if it’s better for the world to know or not? I feel like it’s not a secret and im not embarrassed, so why shouldn’t people know? But on the other hand it feels private and none of people’s business. I don’t want to be the topic of conversation or be pitied and treated differently.ย I’m not even sure why either of these things are an issue, it’s just something that is playing on my mind right now.

I’m just at the stage of finding out how to incorporate MS into my life right now, taking extra vitamins, eating better (mostly) and exercise are all I can do other than my treatment right now, but now life has settled down is it better to explain the little things where MS shows or hide it?

My right hand is weak, my fingers don’t do as they are told sometimes,  holding a pen is harder than it should be, I slam things down rather than place them and I drop things – a lot. Do I just say I’m clumsy? Should I bother explaining? As this tends to lead to a whole long conversation that I don’t always want to have.

When these things first started happening, before I was diagnosed, I got the feeling people didn’t quite believe me and maybe thought I was exaggerating or being a drama queen. Talking about these ‘weird’ new symptoms I had and how things had stopped working properly. Maybe as I made light of it and wasn’t poorly or they got bored of it they thought that. This puts me off talking about it, I don’t like feeling like that, so it’s easier not to fill people in.

I’m not sure which is best right now, I suppose I’ll find out one way or the other.

Life is moving……. best get back on it ๐Ÿ™‚