Hi, can I place a food order for delivery please?

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Life moves so fast for everyone these days I suppose, you don’t need an illness like MS to run you down. Life has a way of doing that for you. I’m trying to stop it but so far i’m just clinging on for dear like and hoping for the best!

Like yesterday, I was running around like I was superwoman as I had all the energy in the world and a million things that needed done, but boy i’m paying for it today.

I was up at 6, showered, dressed for work (hair washed, dried and straightened with make up on!) and breakfast all done for me and the kids to be leaving the house at 8am! This on its own is a HUGE task in itself.

All in the car, dropped my daughter off for breakfast club at her school, then me and little man back in the car to drop him at nursery. I then stopped at the shops for nappies and veg and was at work for 9am! Still feeling great at this point

Finished work at 2:45pm, back to collect my daughter from school, then off to collect little man from nursery, meeting my husband from work on the way home and 4 of us back in the house just before 4pm.

Quick tea was made for the kids (ham & cheese toasties with cucumber sticks.) My mam then came round as me and we were at our 3rd session of ‘making sense of MS’ so off out we go again. I’m the only one who drives so back in the car, i’m tired now and could do without going back out but it’s our last week so off we go.

The session was good, I enjoy spending the time just me and my husband out the house and able to have a conversation with each other. It was a question & answer session this week with a visit from the MS society too, there was also lots of information to take away to read later, some things I’d not even thought about either and some good ‘just incase’ stuff too. I was glad we went.

By the time we were finished and home it was after 7pm, and yes both kids were still awake (but thankfully at least clean and in pjs) We didn’t eat till late, and of course ordered a take away (no good for me at all!) We were both tired by now and ready for bed. Thankfully both kids sleep through most of the time so we at least had an undisturbed night.

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Not all my days are as mad as this, I only work 3 days a week and try to avoid any manic evening appointments, but it shows how easy it is for things to get too much too quickly for anyone.

Some things I have no control over,
• School/nursery run & work.
Then there is:
• Shopping/appointments and kids activities, these happen but are not as strict, I could always re arrange,  cancel or ask for help.
Then I have things like:
• Housework – washing clothes is a constant with kids, cooking – meals for kids, snacks and then an evening meal for us.
Then finally if there is anything left it’s spent on:
• Quality time with my husband – family time for us all or time to ourselves to recharge.

This is hard for anyone who works with a family, and would be hard regardless of MS I think. I’m just still trying to find a balance I suppose, my daughter is 5 and little man is 14 months, I’ve not long gone back to work from maternity leave too.

I find, I’m starting to have to make choices on where my energy goes. Usually the things I don’t have the energy for are the shopping and cooking. Asda on a Friday afternoon with a baby in tow is bad enough,  carrying the shopping up a flight of stairs at home is a nightmare.

The cooking is where I quit most of all, after a crazy day I can’t face making a meal at 8pm eating it, and then doing the dishes and tidying up before bed. I need to stop this as bad food = bad health & less energy and the whole cycle continues.

I need a good plan, the trouble is its 20 past 8 at night, the kids have just gone down (littlist put up a fight tonight) I’ve not made anything for tea yet and I don’t have enough energy to think straight let along make a plan today.

Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe not.

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10 things that makes me happy :)

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I wanted to write 10 things that make me happy, not people, as everyone has amazing people who make them so happy in life, and yes I have mine too. I wanted to write a few little things that make me happy, brighten my day and make me smile.

#1 A hot cup of tea, in a big fat mug when you can actually sit down for 5 minutes. 🍵

#2 Flowers – instantly brighten my day, in the park or a bunch given to me, I love seeing them. 🌻🌼

#3 Pajamas – as soon as I get home and im in for the night I have my pj’s on. Heaven 🙂 🌙🌛

#4 Getting my hair done – (this does not happen often enough) I love it when it’s just been cut and styled and you walk out of the hairdressers feeling amazing.

#5 Movie days – i love it when the weather is cold and me and the kids stay in and watch movies in our onesis with popcorn.

#6 Pizza 🙂 chilled out Saturday night, no cooking or dishes to do, hot pizza to tuck into! 🍕

#7 Reading a good book – i love it when you read a book that you CAN’T put down, I love being engrossed in it and unable to wait to see what happens. 📖

#8 Sunny days driving with the windows down in the car and some good music on – everything us better with sunshine added! 🌞🎶

#9 A hot shower when you feel like you have scrubbed several layers of skin off and your all fresh and clean – even better with clean pj’s and clean bedding too. ⤵

#10 My bed! it is the best place in the world to be, it’s so comfy and I look forward to getting into it each night!

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Of course there is people who make me happy and these are so important and irreplaceable to me.

My family, from my amazing husband,  my gorgeous and clever children to my life saver of a mam. I wouldn’t function without these people and im so happy to have them in my life. 💟

My friends for similar reasons, my best friend who has seen me at my best and worst, and still has the kettle on at a moments notice! The friend’s I can talk to about anything,  who make me laugh,  who spur me on don’t judge me. I’m happy and grateful they tolerate me!

The big and little things make us happy so try to appreciate them all.

My body for not giving up on me yet!

What a week!

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Well Monday was my first day back to work after 14 months of maternity leave. It was so nice to be back and it was nice to be ‘me’ again for a few hours, I work in a small busy office with some lovely people and I’d forgotten how nice it can be to be working and not just a ‘mam’ at home and school.

Definite highlights of returning to work are drinking a cup of tea while it is hot,  going to the bathroom alone, chatting about things other than Dora the Explorer, being allowed to think my own thoughts for a bit without interruptions was lovely too, I had forgotten what it was like when my head wasn’t racing at 100 mph with the stress of home, work is just as busy but it’s a different kind and I feel more productive.

Not so good things were, my arm and wrist ached really bad from all the writing, typing and paperwork, I’ve had to take a lot.of pain killers to get me through this week, i’m hoping it’s just because I’m not used to it. The hour at the beginning and end of my work day which is spent dropping off and collecting the kids is ridiculous, I have to go miles out my was to drop the youngest off first, then come practically home to take the eldest to school and then head back the way I came to get to work. Finally I was surprised how exhausted I was by lunchtime on Wednesday,  I was actually watching the clock and could feel myself going slower and was ready to sleep. It’s a good job i’m part time and only work Monday – Wednesday or I’d have been in trouble.

Since I’m only at work the first half of the week I get to spend Thursday and Friday at home. My daughter has just started reception class so for the first time since he was born me and my little man get two whole days together. My daughter is loving ‘big school’ and is  thrilled to be staying for her lunch, she has a lot of friends and has settled in amazing, although she is exhausted by the end of the day. My little man didn’t really get a lot out of our two days together this week tho, he is full of cold so we mostly spend them in the house. Think I might try to find a play group on a Friday to take him to next week, there is a sure start centre close to us which has a sensory room he would love too. Feel a bit bad we don’t do a lot of these things, but over the 6 weeks we had to do things that were suitable for both kids ages, he will like some things just for him.

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It was also my wedding anniversary this week, me and my husband have been married for 2 years and I got the most beautiful card and flowers from him, they were gorgeous. We have been together for 12 years and got married after 10, he is my best friend and has been amazing this last year too 🙂

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Ok enough slushy stuff…… My next stress has began already! 

My a daughter is 5 next week and we have organised a disco for her, this was what she requested and honestly it has been a nightmare and cost a small fortune! The venue we had suddenly closed and when the brewery went in the person had taken the deposit and book showing we had paid for a party! After a lot of stress and phone calls we have a room and our deposit has been honoured. I just need to pay the remaining balance for the cake, confirm times with the princess who is making and appearance,  go in and decorate  the room and fill the party bags! Then at some point pay the dj, princess and venue for the food!

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NEVER AGAIN!

I’ve just gone back to work so money is tight as it is and I’ve had to pay the nursery £360 last week for my little man to attend 2 days a week.  We are officially skint now, oh dear, well I’m sure the kids will love it.

Went for a run last night,  didn’t do as good as I wanted and we walked half the way back. Think I was just so tired after this week,  they had just finished clearing up after the GNR and there was a few runners out, noticed how dark it is getting now on a night,  it was very blustery too – definitely autumn setting in. Might try to go again on Sunday night, will see how I feel.

Going to have some family time this weekend and then do it all again next week!

Life waits for no one

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Had the best conversation today, me and my husband were discussing mortgages, bills and boring things like that, then during this conversation we ended up making a decision to just carry on as normal. This got me thinking,  I have had such a strange year, my health being only one of the crazy things that gas gone on, and yet we carry on as normal.

I’m going back to work tomorrow after a long 14 months of maternity/holiday leave, I took the full entitlement to enable me to be a ‘stay at home mam’ for a year. My life has been all over the place this year tho, and to be honest it still is a bit, but tomorrow is a big day for us all. My daughter goes to reception class full days tomorrow(she is beyond excited to stay for school dinners),  my not so baby boy is starting nursery class for 2 days while I’m working. And yes i go back to the day job. I’ve now found myself in the familiar Sunday night routine.

•School back packed, uniform ready. •Nursery back packed, forms filled in and clothes laid out.
•Work clothes hanging up and lunch all sorted.
•Breakfast set up ready for in the morning,  alarms all set and yes everyone has been bathed!

Back to normal.

That’s what works best,  back to what is familiar,  what needs to be done and what we do as part of our normal lives. Because life waits for no one and if I don’t get back to normal I fear I may not be living it at all.

Is sharing caring? Or not worth the hassle?

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I’m never sure if I should share my diagnosis with people, I have obviously told family and close friends. Work now know as I’m going back from maternity leave soon, but how much do people share? And is it worth it?

I’m just wondering if it’s better for the world to know or not? I feel like it’s not a secret and im not embarrassed, so why shouldn’t people know? But on the other hand it feels private and none of people’s business. I don’t want to be the topic of conversation or be pitied and treated differently. I’m not even sure why either of these things are an issue, it’s just something that is playing on my mind right now.

I’m just at the stage of finding out how to incorporate MS into my life right now, taking extra vitamins, eating better (mostly) and exercise are all I can do other than my treatment right now, but now life has settled down is it better to explain the little things where MS shows or hide it?

My right hand is weak, my fingers don’t do as they are told sometimes,  holding a pen is harder than it should be, I slam things down rather than place them and I drop things – a lot. Do I just say I’m clumsy? Should I bother explaining? As this tends to lead to a whole long conversation that I don’t always want to have.

When these things first started happening, before I was diagnosed, I got the feeling people didn’t quite believe me and maybe thought I was exaggerating or being a drama queen. Talking about these ‘weird’ new symptoms I had and how things had stopped working properly. Maybe as I made light of it and wasn’t poorly or they got bored of it they thought that. This puts me off talking about it, I don’t like feeling like that, so it’s easier not to fill people in.

I’m not sure which is best right now, I suppose I’ll find out one way or the other.

Life is moving……. best get back on it 🙂

Nursery, Big school & Work

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The time is getting closer, my little man will be going to a nursery 2 days a week, when I go back to work from maternity leave in September.

I will have been off nearly 14 months when I go back as I had a months holiday added to the beginning and end of my 12 months leave. I’m looking forward to a change of routine and some adult conversation the most,  but im not looking forward to leaving the kids.

I am gutted he will be going, and know he will hate being left 😦 but I know he will love it once he settles in, he needs to play with other kids and will get so much from it. The biggest reason tho is I NEED to go back to work, maternity pay sucks and im amazed we have survived this long really.

He had a home visit today, this is where the nursery staff visit him in his own home environment to introduce themselves. I think it’s to have a nosey at your house really 🙂 he was a little shy at first but once they started playing with toys he was happy.

He is going in for a 2 hour visit on Thursday morning and im going to leave him 😦 i’m not looking forward to that! I’m sure I will be worse than him tho and once he starts to play (or its snack time) he will be fine.

I only work 3 days a week and the hours are not too long, so it shouldn’t be too bad, it’s not like he will be in for a really long day. Then once I have picked him and my daughter up we should be home for 4 pm at the latest, ready for tea and family time before bed.

My daughter went to nursery 3 days a week when she was younger, she is very happy and confident, although I think that’s in her nature. She will be starting reception class the week I start back at work and she is so excited.

With her being one of the oldest in the class, she has done 2 years on pre school nursery. She has been desperate to join the ‘big school’ and can’t wait to stay for dinners.

Where does the time go? It seems like not long ago I was returning to work after having my daughter and preparing for her first day at nursery.

So I’m going to enjoy the last week or so of the summer holidays with my 2 monsters before our routine changes ready for nursery, big school and work.

Let’s look after me

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I went for a run last night, it’s been about a month since ive been so really sore today 😩. I didn’t realise how much I missed it, I think I need to make sure I have time to go at least once a week, especially while the weather is still fine. It’s great for clearing your head and getting out of the house.

I first started running last year. It was something I always wanted to do but never thought I could do it, I barely walk places, always take the car and have no fitness ability at all.. Me and my friend just run up and down the coast beside our house, which is 5k and a beautiful route. With having 2 kids under 5 I don’t get a lot of time to myself, so I usually get the kids in bed and head out at about 8 pm. In the summer this is amazing, and the views and coast line are gorgeous,  in the winter it’s bitter cold and is so pitch black it looks like a horror movie  😱

I started originally because I wanted my body back after having my son, we had decided no more kids, I wanted to feel fit and healthy and run around with my kids.  I had joined slimming world about a month before and was loosing weight but wanted to exercise too. I also wanted something for me, some time to focus on myself and to get out for a bit.

After we had been running for a while we decided to aim for something, so we entered a 10k race. We completed this in July of this year raising £285 for Macmillan in the process. It was an amazing day and I totally got the bug, I love the freedom of running and the atmosphere of a race. I wanted to do more, our aim is to enter the GNR next year and complete some more 10k races alongside our training.

All this was before my diagnosis,  this was me 2 stone lighter and the fittest I’d been in years. So why in the last month have I been totally off track?

My MS hasn’t changed me as a person, it has given me more to think about tho. I want to be as fit and healthy as I can be for as long as possible.  I want to run for as long as I can, I want to take care of my body so I’m as strong and in the best shape I can be. But most of all i just want to be the me I was before.

This isn’t really about my MS I suppose,  it’s just my life and what I want to do and MS won’t get in the way of that if I don’t let it.

When MS was very first mentioned by the Dr I thought there was no way it could be, I knew very little about it but thought of people tired and with mobility issues and that was not me. I remember telling my running partner and saying “it can’t be, people with MS don’t run!” Well I do and I will carry on as long as possible. 

Look out for more medals 👟🏃